The following is an excerpt of an email from friends of mine that are in Haiti right now... Laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee... just had to share it!
Does anybody really like roosters? I've never lived on a farm, but it seems strange to me that people would like having the stillness of early morning shattered at the crack of dawn by high-pitched shrilling and crowing. A rooster is like an alarm clock over which you have no control. There is no 'snooze', no 'off'. Imagine, for a minute, that it was a human being doing this. Every morning, without fail, a red-headed, pea-brained, shrieky-voiced guy parks himself under your bedroom window and screams at the top of his lungs. Wouldn't the average person just go and administer a colossal beating on this guy? Why, then, is it ok for an animal to do this?
So D. beat the rooster this morning. D's a pretty peaceable girl, likes animals, and all that, but this bird really had it coming. Since my knowledge of farm life doesn't extend much beyond stereotypes, I'd thought that your typical rooster just crows 2 or three times at sunrise and that's it. The vile creature that lives in our backyard is good for at least 2 hours. First light here is somewhere between 4:30 and 5. So for about two weeks now, from 4:45 to about 7:00, we've been treated to a regimen of what I can only describe as the sound of somebody vomiting and coughing simultaneously, at the pitch of fingernails on a blackboard. Something had to give. We'd tried feeding it, moving it, tying it up, throwing rocks at it, no good. This morning I was lying there with a pillow over my head and willing all the plagues of Egypt on this rooster when I heard the back door slam. A moment later, the bird's next cry was abruptly cut off. Then, the sound of rustling feathers and slapping noises. She had got it by the leg and was holding it upside down, delivering a series of emphatic forehand-backhand combinations. The unstoppable force meets the immovable object. Maybe it's hopeless to try beating instinct out of an animal with such a small brain. Can roosters learn things? Anyhow, our next plan is to tape its beak shut every night and release it at 8:00.
This morning, as it happens, we'd have been up early anyway. We live across from a church. Church starts at 3am. With bells. I thought the tradition of ringing bells to summon people started centuries ago because people didn't have personal timepieces and so had no other way of knowing when services would begin. Why carry on this practice in 2008 when everyone has a watch or cellphone? Why wake up a whole town at 3am because some people like to sit in the dark and sing off-key about Jesus? The singing is bad, but the preacher guy is worse. He doesn't sing, he shouts banalities over the singing, like an auctioneer or a circus ringmaster-"THAT'S RIGHT! JESUS! HE LOVES YOU! DID YOU KNOW IT? CAN YOU FEEL IT? JESUS! JEEEESUS! That anybody could feel spiritually upbuilt by this experience absolutely beggars belief.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Cuba
after a 27 hour delay at the Calgary Airport (thank-you CANJET) and to date no communication from the tour operator, D & I finally arrived in Varadero half starved & cramped but exhilarated. Unfortunately everything was closed by the time we arrived except for the pool bar which had ham & cheese sandwiches with cabbage (??? don't understand this one...) and Havana Especials. (rum, pineapple juice & marachino liquor).
First day, played in the surf (love my Olympus 770 - waterproof), went dancing got sun and booked tours for the rest of the week.
Day 2: went on a catamaran to Cayo Blanco... now i must say that this is THE beach of every fantasy. sand like powder and the color of cream, still turquoise waters, and absolute perfection, except the snorkeling kinda sucks! Had a lobster lunch on the beach and napped before heading back. Swam with the dolphins (which feel like really big silky foamies) for the first time which was totally rad. Got back, dressed for dinner and went dancing - which us girls 'started up'. pretty neet! Spent the next hour wandering the surf and just trying to absorb every second to brand it on my memory.
Went to bed exhausted, but was up at 6:30 (4:30 am our time) to grab breakfast before getting together with our tour group for 4 x 4-ing through the hillsides of Varadero: now this is a trip I highly recommend taking if you're in the area. we had nearly 40 in our group, so it was a bit on the larger side however was fun just the same. After back-roading for about an hour-and-a-half, we pulled off and went snorkeling in the ocean. MUCH better than at Cayo Blanco, however fell against the waves and my inner-upper thigh connected with fire-coral which burns (ironicly) like fire and left a very strange coral imprint in red (haha - ironicly again like fire...). Other than that, some really amazing snorkeling and has inspired me to get dive certified for my next trip. After snorkeling, got ripped off on a mojito and continued driving for about half an hour, until we stopped to pick up (what was supposed to be speed-boats) our Ferry boat which took us up river to the ranch for lunch. Before this, we were 'treated' to naked traditional dancers... Hmmm painted boobies... Interesting but ahem... strange??? The women wern't impressed, but the men, Loved the show! Haha :D
Caught some amazing rays, chose not to jump off the top of the boat but watched others do so, and finally arrived at the ranch where we had lunch. D & I split a BBQ lobster (so amazing...) went riding on horses (where my baithing suit nearly lost my girls *blush* and got made fun of by the horse guy), rode a bull named blackie and had a tree rat plunked on my head which was totally NOT cool! I don't freak out like, ever, but nearly started crying. All of this while I'm holding a small crocodile in my arms whos jaws are taped together with (yup - get this...) MASKING TAPE! so, freaking out i'm thinking isn't too bad.
So after this adventure, we get back in our jeeps and drive another half hour to a fresh water cave and went cave swimming - fresh water which was so beautiful. It's amazing how different it feels to swim in the ocean vs fresh water. Personally outside of the salt drying on your skin, I totally prefer the ocean. We started heading back after swim to drop off the jeeps and took the bus back to the resort where we had a few drinks, went for dinner and crashed into bed.
Day 3: up even earlier today to grab some breakfast before catching our tour bus to Havana. Our tour guide Raphael was really good... had a lot of history about Cuba, but found it a bit propaganda heavy... kind of a damper for me... Not so much into communism...
Anyhoo... so you can't use bank cards in Cuba so off to find a bank to sneek some money off my visa and get some money to use while there. Spent the morning wandering old Havana which is so beautifully battle-scarred but so proud. Went for lunch, wandered the markets and wandered aimlessly until we got our hotel room (one of 10 which 79 of us shared) showered, napped and wow, what a view!
The rest of the tour went to the Tropicana show while D & I decided to wander around Havana some more and found ourselves at the Hotel National where Hollywoods bygone era of glamerous starlets played. Pretty amazing to be there. Soft jazz mixed with the smell of the surf and rum is completely intoxicating, never mind the tantalizing effects of mojitos! As we're wandering the grounds a really cute couple got engaged (suckers...) actually, it was pretty cute, but as the night lingered on, we found a couple of comfy chairs where we just listened, and I wrote a bit. It was nice.
We had made arrangements to meet up with our bus by the hotel after they finished at the Tropicana show at 11:30, so being freaked out about being left in Havana to take a $200+ cab ride back to Varadero we arrived at 11:15.
Havana is a pretty safe city, but you have to take into consideration that we're a couple of girls who've been 'going strong' for a week now, exhausted, been up since 4:30 am, hot, walking all afternoon and don't speak spanish. So, there we are on a corner - in the center of Havana. and no bus. and the parties are starting. We were able to distinguish a few things people were insuating which was actually pretty funny given the circumstances, but the damn bus didn't show up until 12:30!!! SO NOT IMPRESSED! Girl on the bus sitting behind me threw up and reeked up the bus, and we got pulled over by the police. Again... an adventure.
Crashed into bed, and up at 11. Rented scooters (i've never rode one before... it's a HOOT!), and drove around Varadero for 4 hours, and saw horses that looked healthy by the Don Quxotie tower (sp??) and fanagled a deal out of the guy - the horses were more expensive than the scooters!!! Haha.. Almost got taken out by my horse... and didn't think of the logistics of scoters, horses and a 7 (which turned into 9.5 hour) flight the next day... I'm still brused!!! But... it was worth it!
We spent our last morning wandering the beach, swimming and just relaxing. Our flight home got diverted to Winnipeg b/c the Boeing 737-800 series couldn't handle the headwinds to make it all the way to Calgary. Yup - CAN'TJET didn't tell us until we were taxi-ing to the active run-way so none of us had any way of contacting anyone to let them know...
We arrived back in Calgary at 2 am sun-kissed and home sick for Cuba. Planning on going back for trip # 4 in April!
M.
First day, played in the surf (love my Olympus 770 - waterproof), went dancing got sun and booked tours for the rest of the week.
Day 2: went on a catamaran to Cayo Blanco... now i must say that this is THE beach of every fantasy. sand like powder and the color of cream, still turquoise waters, and absolute perfection, except the snorkeling kinda sucks! Had a lobster lunch on the beach and napped before heading back. Swam with the dolphins (which feel like really big silky foamies) for the first time which was totally rad. Got back, dressed for dinner and went dancing - which us girls 'started up'. pretty neet! Spent the next hour wandering the surf and just trying to absorb every second to brand it on my memory.
Went to bed exhausted, but was up at 6:30 (4:30 am our time) to grab breakfast before getting together with our tour group for 4 x 4-ing through the hillsides of Varadero: now this is a trip I highly recommend taking if you're in the area. we had nearly 40 in our group, so it was a bit on the larger side however was fun just the same. After back-roading for about an hour-and-a-half, we pulled off and went snorkeling in the ocean. MUCH better than at Cayo Blanco, however fell against the waves and my inner-upper thigh connected with fire-coral which burns (ironicly) like fire and left a very strange coral imprint in red (haha - ironicly again like fire...). Other than that, some really amazing snorkeling and has inspired me to get dive certified for my next trip. After snorkeling, got ripped off on a mojito and continued driving for about half an hour, until we stopped to pick up (what was supposed to be speed-boats) our Ferry boat which took us up river to the ranch for lunch. Before this, we were 'treated' to naked traditional dancers... Hmmm painted boobies... Interesting but ahem... strange??? The women wern't impressed, but the men, Loved the show! Haha :D
Caught some amazing rays, chose not to jump off the top of the boat but watched others do so, and finally arrived at the ranch where we had lunch. D & I split a BBQ lobster (so amazing...) went riding on horses (where my baithing suit nearly lost my girls *blush* and got made fun of by the horse guy), rode a bull named blackie and had a tree rat plunked on my head which was totally NOT cool! I don't freak out like, ever, but nearly started crying. All of this while I'm holding a small crocodile in my arms whos jaws are taped together with (yup - get this...) MASKING TAPE! so, freaking out i'm thinking isn't too bad.
So after this adventure, we get back in our jeeps and drive another half hour to a fresh water cave and went cave swimming - fresh water which was so beautiful. It's amazing how different it feels to swim in the ocean vs fresh water. Personally outside of the salt drying on your skin, I totally prefer the ocean. We started heading back after swim to drop off the jeeps and took the bus back to the resort where we had a few drinks, went for dinner and crashed into bed.
Day 3: up even earlier today to grab some breakfast before catching our tour bus to Havana. Our tour guide Raphael was really good... had a lot of history about Cuba, but found it a bit propaganda heavy... kind of a damper for me... Not so much into communism...
Anyhoo... so you can't use bank cards in Cuba so off to find a bank to sneek some money off my visa and get some money to use while there. Spent the morning wandering old Havana which is so beautifully battle-scarred but so proud. Went for lunch, wandered the markets and wandered aimlessly until we got our hotel room (one of 10 which 79 of us shared) showered, napped and wow, what a view!
The rest of the tour went to the Tropicana show while D & I decided to wander around Havana some more and found ourselves at the Hotel National where Hollywoods bygone era of glamerous starlets played. Pretty amazing to be there. Soft jazz mixed with the smell of the surf and rum is completely intoxicating, never mind the tantalizing effects of mojitos! As we're wandering the grounds a really cute couple got engaged (suckers...) actually, it was pretty cute, but as the night lingered on, we found a couple of comfy chairs where we just listened, and I wrote a bit. It was nice.
We had made arrangements to meet up with our bus by the hotel after they finished at the Tropicana show at 11:30, so being freaked out about being left in Havana to take a $200+ cab ride back to Varadero we arrived at 11:15.
Havana is a pretty safe city, but you have to take into consideration that we're a couple of girls who've been 'going strong' for a week now, exhausted, been up since 4:30 am, hot, walking all afternoon and don't speak spanish. So, there we are on a corner - in the center of Havana. and no bus. and the parties are starting. We were able to distinguish a few things people were insuating which was actually pretty funny given the circumstances, but the damn bus didn't show up until 12:30!!! SO NOT IMPRESSED! Girl on the bus sitting behind me threw up and reeked up the bus, and we got pulled over by the police. Again... an adventure.
Crashed into bed, and up at 11. Rented scooters (i've never rode one before... it's a HOOT!), and drove around Varadero for 4 hours, and saw horses that looked healthy by the Don Quxotie tower (sp??) and fanagled a deal out of the guy - the horses were more expensive than the scooters!!! Haha.. Almost got taken out by my horse... and didn't think of the logistics of scoters, horses and a 7 (which turned into 9.5 hour) flight the next day... I'm still brused!!! But... it was worth it!
We spent our last morning wandering the beach, swimming and just relaxing. Our flight home got diverted to Winnipeg b/c the Boeing 737-800 series couldn't handle the headwinds to make it all the way to Calgary. Yup - CAN'TJET didn't tell us until we were taxi-ing to the active run-way so none of us had any way of contacting anyone to let them know...
We arrived back in Calgary at 2 am sun-kissed and home sick for Cuba. Planning on going back for trip # 4 in April!
M.
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